hEaz ShuM JokES diS dOod SeNT mEe iN aOL a LoOnG TiME aGO!..DeY a BiT NaZtEe n loOnG dOe!!..(i CuT n PaStEd iT..hEe)
-A missionary gets sent into deepest darkest Africa and goes to live with a tribe therein. He spends yearswith the people, teaching them to read, write and the good Christian ways of the white man. One thing he particularly stresses is the evils of sexual sin. Thou must not commit adultery or fornification!! One day the wife of one of the Tribe's noblemen gives birth to a white child. The village is shocked and the chief is sent by his people to talk with the missionary. "You have taught us of the evils of sexual sin,yet here a black woman gives birth to white child. You are the only white man that has ever set foot in our village. It doesn't take a genius to work out what has been going on!"The missionary replies: "No, no, my good man. You are mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence - what is called an albino. Look to thy yonder field. See a field of white sheep, and yet amongst them is one black one. Nature does this on occasion."The chief pauses for a moment then says "Tell you what, you don't say anything about the sheep,I won't say anything about the white child"!
-"The Gift"
A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday,and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration,he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal.Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents,the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove. "These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. Ihad her try yours on for me and she looked really smart."I wish I was there to put them on for you thefirst time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. "When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they willnaturally be a little damp from wearing. "Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love."P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."
-There is a new commander of a base of the French Foreign Legion, and the captain is showing him around all the buildings. After he has made the rounds the commander looks at the captain and says, "Wait a minute. You haven't shown me that small blue building over there. What's that used for?" Thecaptain says, "Well sir, you see that there are no women around. Whenever the men feel the need of a woman, they go there and use the camel." "Enough!" says the commander in disgust. Well, two weeks later, the commander himself starts to feel in need of a woman. He goes to the captain and says, "Tell me something, Captain." Lowering his voice and glancing furtively around, he asks, "Is the camel free anytime soon?" The captain says, "Well, let me see." He opens up his book. "Why, yes, sir, the camel is free tomorrow afternoon at two o'clock." The commander says, "Put me down for two o'clock then."So the next day at two o'clock the commander goes to the little blue building and opens the door.There inside he finds the cutest camel he's ever seen. Right next to the camel is a little step stool, so he closes the door behind him and puts the step stool directly behind the camel. He stands on the stool,drops his pants, and begins to have sex with the camel. A minute later the captain walks in. "Ahem,begging your pardon, sir," says the captain, "but wouldn't it be wiser to ride the camel intotown and find a woman like all the other men?"
-WhaT doEs a ProStiTuTE aNd a ChiCkeN faRmeR haVE iN cOMmoN?
TheY bOTh EaRN a LiViN RaiSiNG CoCkS
-WhaT dO yoU caLL a leSbiaN EsKimO?
a kLoNdyKe
-WhaT's ThE GeRMaN wOrd foR viRgiN?
GoEsiNtiGht
Yo MaMa sO FaT ShE GoTtA wEaR a SoCk oN eaCh ToE!!.. aHaHeHEah...i GoT daT frOm COMiC ViEw bET!
OKieSh..i kNo ShUm oF daT WuZ KOrNY!!..hEeheE..
[MaiN] [Mi 411] [sHOuTOutS] [bESt FrEnz] [PiCturEs] [PoeTrY] [bEeDaiZ] [LiNks] [GesT bOok]