This is not how I intended it to be
What I hoped for or even dreamed of becoming
I always believed in my own judgements
and the goodness of hearts
That what makes me happy is the best
But the realization of reality
The kind frankness of friends lending hands
Somehow made the day less bearable
The night darker
These dark thoughts have always been there
But never as evident as now
As I breathe in life I exhaust my soul
Need to hang in there
Small deaths take away what the mind and flesh suffer
Knowing my own foolish emotions only
further deepen the guilt, the uncertainty,
the pain, and the heart lost but not found