Episode 1: A Moon Star Is Born
If a cat with a crescent moon symbol comes up to you, you're either Sailor Moon or mentally insane. If you don't turn out to be Sailor Moon, go to a mental institution, Sailor Moonlight says
Episode 2: Talk Radio
If your teacher uses a radio dateline to get a date, use this as blackmail. Chances are, they don't want the school board to know that they are that desperate to get a date. The money could be enough to buy a car, Sailor Moonlight says
Episode 3: Slim City
Starve yourself then go to the arcade. Chances are, you'll faint in the cute arcade guy's arms and he'll take care of you. After you wake up, ask him for a date. If he says no, tell him it's because he thinks you're fat. Then you'll end up scoring a date with him, Sailor Moonlight says
Episode 4: So You Wanna Be A Superstar?
Never EVER go into a talent show with a cross dressing Umino as the other half to your act. This can only end in disaster. Trust me on this one, Sailor Moonlight says
Episode 5: Computer School Blues
If you think the computer is taking your energy and it's a Dark Kingdom plot, turn off this computer right now and return to the State of Sanity, Sailor Moonlight says
Episode 6: Time Bomb
If you think that time is passing by way too fast, chances are you are just a slow slacker who gets too little sleep. Get some sleep, have some caffiene and you'll be fine, Sailor Moonlight says
Episode 7: An Uncharmed Life
If a priestess at a temple knocks you down with a banishing evil charm, don't wait around to see if she's Sailor Mars. Run you fool. Run, damnit, run!
Episode 8: Nightmare in Dreamland
Never turn down free candy, simple as that, Sailor Moonlight says (shut up all of you who say that it was why Mercury got her energy drained!)
Episode 9: Cruise Blues
If you win free cruise tickets, take me with you!
Episode 10: Fight to the finish
Don't let your own attack kill you, it's just plain dumb. Plus all the other super villians will laugh at you, so will I, Sailor Moonlight says
Episode 11: Match Point for Sailor Moon
Always play tennis with cute guys, Sailor Moonlight says
Episode 12: An Unnatural Phenomenon
Never agree to a date with a geek just to spy on your friend and a guy you hate. Also, observe whether your prune shake has one or two straws in it
Episode 13: Wedding Day Blues
Know how to sew a wedding dress, someday it might win ya a trip to Hawaii
Episode 14: Shutter Bugged
If your teacher gets into a modelling contest, automatically figure that it's a Dark Kingdom trap
Episode 15: Dangerous Dollies
To guys, don't let you girlfriend drag you to a doll show. Girls, don't drag your boyfriend to a doll show, it's just plain cruel. I wouldn't wish that fate on anyone but Nakago from Fushigi Yuugi.
Episode 16: Who Is That Masked Man?
If you're stuck in an elevator about to die with a hot guy, go ahead and kiss him.
Episode 17: An Animated Mess
Buy a red ferrari so you can be like Nephrite
Episode 18: Worth a Princess' Ransom
If you're drunk at a big party and you think Tuxedo Kamen is kissing you, it's not.
Episode 19: Molly's Folly
Don't count on being loved back if you love an evil guy who'd sell ya for the Silver Crystal any day of the week.
Episode 20: A Friend in Wolf's Clothing
Who the hell came up with this title?
Episode 21: Jupiter Comes Thundering In
Why do we new see Game Machine Joe again, Sailor Moonlight asks.
Episode 22: The Power of Friendship
Again, who the hell came up with this title? Probably the same person who came up with the song the Power of Love. Getting a little repetitive aren't we boys?
Episode 23: Mercury's Mental Match
The smartest guy in your school has psychic abilities. Use his abilites to find the next winning Lotto numbers
Episode 24: An Artful Attack
When a guy freaks out at a picture with a star locket in it, assume that he's actually Tuxedo Kamen
Episode 25: Too Many Girlfriends
Never assume that the really cute and nice arcade guy is single or you're setting yourself up for disappointment
Episode 26: Grandpa's Follies
If your three-foot tall grandpa is going nuts, he's probably not a Rainbow Crystal Carrier. He's losing his mind, not being taken over by evil.
Episode 27: Kitty Chaos
Have your cat spayed or neutered before it meets a buncha ally cats who want her for who-knows-what
Episode 28: Tuxedo Melvin
If you're a guy, don't try to be Tuxedo Kamen, it just doesn't work. If you're a girl and a guy who has a crush on you is trying to be Tuxedo Kamen, just humor him for a while then tell him it's pretty damn annoying
Episode 29: Sailor Venus Makes the Scene
If you spent half your life fighting crime in England, you should know English and have an English accent!
Episode 30: A Crystal Clear Destiny
Don't let someone as pathetic as Zoicite catch you off guard. It may cause the Silver Crystal to appear, but it's just plain dumb.
Episode 31: A Reluctant Princess
Just keep the part where Sailor Mars slaps Sailor Moon! She needed that! And if you're going to take it out, don't put it in the episode preview, that's just plain stupid
Episode 32: Bad Hair Day
Don't have the hair of Sailor Moon in yours when you go for a *FREE* haircut. It might be a Dark Kingdom trap and you don't want them to think you're Sailor Moon
Episode 33: Miss Manners
Never send Usagi to a school about manners.... She's already flunking enough classes
Episode 34: Ski Bunny Blues
Be sure to have a hot guy who owns a house in Vail as one of your acquiantances
Episode 35: Ice Princess
Don't assume the hot ice skating guy who wants you for a partner really thinks you're a good skater. It's probably another reason....
Episode 36: Last Resort
Never go on vacations with family. Especially if it's the place where your parents first met. 'nough said.
Episode 37: Tuxedo Unmasked
If the weakest member of a super hero team basically defeats you, then you are one sad villian
Episode 38: Fractious Friends
Don't be so naive as to believe that the senshi just want to beat Sailor Moon up when they have the power to kill her.
Episode 39: The Past Returns
When hearing your past, why not ask "Who's my father?" It'll save about a billion sorry fanfic attempts from being written trying to explain who it is
Episode 40: Day of Destiny
Good always triumphs over evil! (okay, that was a little too Sailor Moon Says-y. Let's try again) Eh...the manga version was better....