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As I hold the gun up to my head,
My life flashes before my eyes.
I think of the things I left unsaid,
I never said my last good-byes.
With every heartbeat comes a bad memory,
Which once was lost inside of me.
I look outside the window, it's bad out there.
When it rains, it pours. But I don't care.
I think of all the mistakes I made,
All the times things fell apart.
All the good days seem to fade.
I can only end, there's no place to start.
So I feel the trigger with my finger.
I breathe deeply and fill my lungs.
But all the pain just stays to linger.
I wonder if what I'm doing is dumb.
But I can't turn back, not now or ever.
I'll just accept it, my life is over.
I say good-bye to a lost forever.
They'll say, "I never got to know her."
I feel the trigger once again.
Make sure it's loaded, that's what they say.
If there's any mercy in the end,
This will be the last of my days.
BANG!!!
(Why is my soul still inside her?)
Why am I still in this life?
I guess I'll never know the answer.
Damn, I should have used the knife.
Summer Truth
I am trapped in here all by myself.
No one cares enough to help.
They didn't listen to what I said.
When they come looking, I'll be dead.
Nobody knows what goes on in my mind.
Because they don't understand me, never tried.
Everyone asks why I don't smile.
Did they just notice, it's been like this for a while.
They're my best friends, they don't listen to me.
Why is this the way it's got to be?
Can't you hear? Don't they pay attention?
When I leave, they'll learn their lesson.
I guess they'll see when I'm gone.
But who cares? Life goes on.
Shout-Outs
To the sell-outs who taught me not to feel
To the suicidals who showed me pain is real
To the open-minded who told me life goes on
To my parents who taught me right from wrong
To the bitches that taught me not to complain
To the lokaz who showed me its good to be sane
To the success that encouraged me to overcome my fears
To the pain that trained me to hold back my tears
To the worries that caused me to lose sleep at night
To the shocks that made my heart stop with fright
To these of you out there who ever made me cry
To the wise people who forced me to wonder why
To the silence that allowed me to think things through
For making me who I am, let me say......Thank You.