hErE aRe sOmE sTufF foR LaUgHz aNd wUtEvA =)...sO eNjOy!


Subject: Weaker Sex

A woman and a man are in a car accident and it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says," So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."

The man replies," I agree with you completely! This must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "And look at this! Here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens the bottle and takes a few swigs from the bottle, then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man ask, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."

*kekeke no doubt who's the weaker sex*

IT'S NOT EASY BEING A GUY
- Submitted by Maira Pergler
------------------------------------

Pity us men

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a sissy.

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your but and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're an insensitive jerk.

If you thump her, it's wife bashing.
If she thumps you, it's self defense.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're controlling.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.
If you don't, you're a fag.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.
If you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself.
If you don't, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often, you're oversexed.
If you don't, there must be someone else.

*hehehe men! the length they will go...they swear women are such prickz! they jux dont know us right laDIEz?*

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT



1) I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

2) Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid doing altogether.

3) Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.

4) On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

5) Please, Lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won't spoil me.

6) Does vacuuming count as Aerobic Exercise?

7) Young at Heart. Slightly Older in Other Places.

8) Time is Nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't Go Wrong at once.

9) The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

10) I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves.

11) If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

12) There's no speed limit on the Information Superhighway.

13) It is much easier to apologize than to ask permission.

14) There are two rules for ultimate success in life: Never tell everything you know.

15) Do unto others, then run.....................