I take a step back and I hope not to rustle any leaves. I don't know what Li-kun will do if he found out that I was watching them...after all, that was a private moment of theirs...
I take another step back, then another, and another, until I am out of the bushes and greenery around me. I sweep my hair from my face and run...as fast as my feet will carry me.
::I can't believe it!::
I stop under a familiar tree. I look up. "Sakura." simply put, it was my favorite tree...and growing on it was my favorite kind of flower...
::I wonder what will happen now.::
I remember the object I am carrying and hurriedly turn it off. My video recorder has become something not very short of a second eye to me. I don't feel any differently looking from the eye of the recorder than I do without it. Actually, I think it seems sort of awkward not to be seeing through the lens of my video recorder...
::Didn't you just want your precious friend to be happy?:: the voice interrupts me from my thoughts.
"Yes." I nod to myself.
::I feel something bad is going to happen if she is with him.::
"You do?" I whisper, and then can't help but laugh. "I wonder what everyone would think of me if they knew I talked to myself."
::Ha ha.:: I am really getting to think that the voice in my head is not mine.
"Who are you?"
::Why, I am you, of course!::
I leave it as that and ignore its other comments and remarks.
I glance up, just in time to see a cherry blossom falling from the tree. I catch it in the palm of my hand, wistfully. "Sakura-chan..."
"I hope you will be happy with him." I close my eyes and sigh. "I hope he doesn't hurt you like Tsukishiro-san...but, remember this, Sakura-chan, your brother will be happy with Tsukishiro-san...don't think of it as a loss..."
::Sakura-chan...::
::Did I do the right thing?:: I am very nervous now.
::Well, well. You can do it when you try, now, can't you, kiddo.::
::Aw, shut up. I thought I got rid of you before.::
The other voice in his head snickered. ::I won't be leaving you for a while, kiddo.::
::If you're going to stick around, at least don't call me that...::
::Why not, kiddo?::
I scowl and hold the girl to me so she won't see. I wonder what she's thinking...
::Maybe I did do the wrong thing...::
::Why, kiddo?::
::Leave me alone!:: my eyes soften as I look down at Sakura. ::At least now...::
::Fine, fine.::
::...Sakura...::
::Heh. What would everyone think of you if they knew that you were soft to girls?:: I think the voice will be quiet now...of course, it had to say something before it disappeared fully...
I stroke her hair gently, and she tilts her face up to me...I guess...with puzzlement written all over...
::...Gods, she is beautiful...:: The first thought that comes to mind... I wonder why I never noticed...
Well, I had...but...but...
But what?
Don't ask me that.
I don't know the answer to that question.
I wonder how long this will continue...I wonder if this is a dream?
Those breathtaking eyes...is it just a coincidence that they are made of my favorite color...? Her innocence...like a--
::Kiddo, kiddo! Relax!::
::Huh?:: I blush slightly. I think I'm getting carried away. What if she doesn't like me, though...
::If she didn't like you, than do you think she would let you kiss her?::
::But--::
"Sakura..." my voice speaks on its own and I cringe. My voice seems so loud...it rings in my ears...
"Hoeh?" she answers. "Yes? Li-kun?"
"Sorry." I mumble, turning a slight red.
"For what, Li-kun?"
"For not asking..."
"Asking...?"
"About...the...the...k...kiss."
"..oh." she says simply.
::What does that mean?:: I scream to the voice, maybe it would be able to comfort me...
::Listen to her and you'll know.:: the voice says plainly. ::And I thought you didn't want me to bother you right now.::
I notice now that she had been whispering something to me...and I had missed most of it.
"...so I..." her emerald eyes focus on me and I feel my temperature rise once again.
::Snap out of it, Syaoran...::
"...so I..." she begins again. "...I trust you...I...love you..."
I think I am about to burn to a crisp...
::I must look like a boiled lobster of some sort...:: I think to myself, embarrassed, and then I think about what she had just said to me...
::Oh God, oh God...I am dreaming...I must be dreaming...!!::
::Did I just say what I thought I said...?::
Everything around me is spinning...my mind is racing...
::This must be why Li-kun was avoiding me... But does that explain anything about Tomoyo-chan? Maybe she knew all about it...and supported Li-kun? That would explain most of it...but her eyes still got sort of cloudy when I mentioned Li-kun, too...::
I am going crazy...
Do I even really love Li-kun? Or did I just say that I did because I know that Yukito-san will never want to be with me...and because I'm lonely...?
No, it isn't because of Yukito-san. And no, I'm not lonely. I have my friends...
Then why...?
Well the answer is obvious...I do love him...I've cared for
him for a long time, but I just never knew that I cared for him in this
way...or that I cared for him so much...
If I didn't care, then I wouldn't have minding his avoiding me very much now, would I?
I'm dumb. I've known it from the start. I'm inexperienced when it comes to love...well, so is Tomoyo-chan...and I think Li-kun...but...
I thought I knew more than I do.
Is this what love feels like...?
I look up at Li-kun but I don't think he notices. Then I sigh. I wonder how it turned out like this...I mean, we were rivals in the start...although I never thought of him that way. I hate having rivals, and that's why I try to be as nice as possible to everyone. Except for my brother. But he's not nice to me, so that evens things out. I want to be as nice as my dad someday...and as smart. But I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon...
Right now, I'll just enjoy what is going on...think about the future later...focus on the present...
Focus on what's happening to me now...
I close my eyes and put my head on his chest. I hope he doesn't mind...
::Gosh...I'm really tired...really...tired...::
The last thing I notice is his arms tightening around me...and then I see only black.