Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been.

12 January 2001 CE 22:52 PST
...
I read that last thing I wrote and boy is it dumb. I am such a dork. At least the stuff on smurfs was amusing. I mean, that stuff about the bake off was lame. But it was disturbing about the certificate. Like I was going to poison them or something.
I got bored and read manga tonight. Specifically Ayatsuri Sakon. It's messed up. It's about a guy and his puppet and they solve mysteries. Sakon (the guy) has some serious issues. I think he has a multiple personality disorder or something. His relationship with Ukon (the puppet) is unhealthy. This manga worries me, I think I'll stick to pointless random fighting like in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. Or maybe something cute and shoujo. Shoujo manga is good too, but my friends don't like some of the really good stuff. Like Shounen Shinkaron Plus (that's where the picture is from btw. It's really cute and interesting and there's conspiracies by evil media people and mean school boys and lots of idol singers. And they won't buy it! It's sitting there on the shelf looking lonely and they abandon it for hentai stuff with no plot! yeah yeah, I know I'm rambling, my mind jumps around a lot). Anyways, Ayatsuri Sakon. It disturbs me. And Sakon is too pretty. He looks something like a goth/jrock version of Aoshi from Kenshin (I am not linking to a Kenshin page, go find one yourself, lazy bastard). It's just a very odd manga. Seems to be set around the 1920's or 1930's. Since it's only 4 volumes I guess I'll get the other 2 and see how it turns out. If you aren't reading this webpage you probably lead a more interesting life than I do.

12 January 2001 CE 13:57 PST
It is a sad, sad day...
It is with deepest regret that I announce that I have run out of theories to write about smurfs. I thought about maybe writing about other cartoon charcters, such as snorks, or the Tick, but when they started talking about Tickslash on irc I decided "uhhh...no." So now you'll have to suffer from a cute little anecdote about the current title of this page (subject to change on a whim). When I was young (not like that! damn pedos) and my dad was working for a company, I decided to enter the bake-off at the company picnic. I made a carrot cake. I don't even really like carrot cake. I won first prize, which was a $75 gift certificate to Crate & Barrel and an award certificate that said on it "Don't put that in your mouth, you don't know where it's been." Don't you feel so enlightened by my story? ...I should go back to writing about smurfs.

10 Januray 2001 CE 14:44 PST
Smoke a smurf.
Having covered the physiology of a smurf in great depth, I feel it is necessary to cover their arch-enemy, Gargamel. Gargamel spent his life pursuing smurfs and was constantly thwarted. Naturally I assumed that this was because like all other sane humans he wanted to stick them in a blender and have a nice smurf milkshake. However it came to my attention as I was cruising the web looking for information about the color of a smurf's blood that Gargamel desired to use smurfs as an ingredient in a "magic" potion. Given that I have concluded that smurfs are a fungus, this sounds susupiciously like shrooms. Could it be that smurfs are narcotic? Was Gargamel a smurf addict? This would explain much; it certainly explains the eternal happiness of any given smurf. Gargamel needed to get his fix, no matter what the cost. This is why he wasted all those years of his life pursuing the little blue things. And for a supposedly powerful wizard he sure was poor. He'd wasted all his money on smurfs. The only "magic" in the potion he was so desperate to make was the "magic" of drugs!

9 Januray 2001 CE 23:36 PST
Smurfungi
So I've been rethinking this whole smurf blood thingie and I'm wondering if smurfs even fall into the "fauna" category. I'm thinking they're a type of fungus, like mushrooms or toadstools. I mean, there were a LOT of happy little smurfs of all the same gender running around before Gargamel created Smurfette. And they live in mushrooms. What if it's some sort of symbiotic relationship or something? Or maybe the mushroom spawns the smurf and when the smurf dies where it falls to the ground one of those mushroom-houses grows and spawns another smurf. So if smurfs are a fungus they wouldn't have blood. They'd just be kinda pulpy inside.

9 Januray 2001 CE 16:59 PST
Pulpy Smurf.
Latest opinion on the color a blended smurf would be:
Runetip: Come to think of it, if you put any colored human in a blender, you'd eventually get red... so, assuming smurfs have red blood, you'd get red.
Runetip: It all depends on smurf blood color.
So according to Jay, a well-blended smurf would be the color that it's blood is. Now if we just knew what color blood smurfs had.

9 January 2001 CE 15:00 PST
Smurfinnablender.
So having decided to actually DO something with this...it's now a blog type thingie. Mostly because I want to rant about smurfs. For some reason last night the idea of sticking a smurf in a blender popped into my head last night. I mean, they'd make great milkshakes. So Jojo and I have decided we need to go to Baskin Robbins and order smurf milkshakes. Of course if you stick a smurf in a blender another question that comes up is "What color will it be?" Smurfs are blue, so most people automatically answer "blue" but what if smurfs have red blood? So I researched this. I went to altavista and did a search on "smurf" and "blood". The most interesting thing I got back was on how Papa smurf was a communist. Amusing, but not useful. So I tried excite. Even more useless. so I went to Ask Jeeves and asked "What color is a smurf's blood?". Click here to read the results. This time they almost completely ignored the aspect that it was a smurf. Undaunted by the uselessness of these search engines I went to google and did a google search for "smurf" and "blood". This actually returned results. I found someone's journal which tells me that smurf's blood is a drink (also has directions on how to mix it) and then I found this page. The actual purpose of the page is to discover what happens to a smurf when you choke it because it can't actually turn blue. Many of the answers go into detail about the color of a smurf's blood. One person actually mentions putting a smurf in a blender. But nobody actually agrees on the color of a smurf's blood. My boyfriend (who hates the idea of putting a smurf in a blender) mentioned that a smurf's tongue is red and that reptiles are often green on the outside but their blood is still red. So maybe smurfs are a reptile? The only thing I know for sure about making a smurf milkshake is that it would be "smurfyliscious".

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I will put interesting stuff here evenetually. Maybe. If I feel like it.