> > In a message dated 4/19/00 9:43:07 PM Eastern Daylight Time, BLinKBAbeXOx > > writes: > > > > << In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through > > stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on > > consumer goods. > > > > 1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". (Gee, > > that's the only > > time I have to work on my hair) > > > > 2. On a bag of Fritos: "You could be winner! No purchase > > necessary. > > Details inside". (Evidently, the shoplifter special) > > > > 3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular > > soap." (And that > > would be how. . . ?) > > > > 4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: > > Defrost." (But > > it's *just* a suggestion)>>>> >>>>>> >> > > > > 5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): > > "Do not turn > > upside down". (Oops, too late!) > > > > 6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot > > after heating". > > (As night follows the day . . . .) > > > > 7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on > > body". (But > > wouldn't this save even more time?) > > > > 8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car > > or operate > > machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot > > to reduce the > > rate of construction accidents if we could just get those > > 5-year-olds with > > head-colds off those forklifts.) > > > > 9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". > > (One would hope) > > > > 10. On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or > > outdoor use only". > > (As opposed to what?) > > > > 11. On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the > > other use". (I > > gotta admit, I'm curious). > > > > 12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts". > > (NEWS FLASH) > > > > 13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: > > Open packet, eat > > nuts." (Step 3: Fly Delta). > > > > 14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment > > does not enable > > you to fly". (I don't blame the company I blame parents > > for this one). > > > > 15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain > > with your hands > > or genitals". (Was there a chance of this happening > > somewhere?...Good grief) > > > > 16. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid: "Do not use > > on food." > > (Hey mom we're out of syryp! ; It's ok honey just grab the > > Palmolive!)>>>> > > > > 17. On a tube of Crest Toothpaste: "If swallowed contact > > poison control." > > (Oh please have you ever heard about someone dying from > > swallowing a little > > toothpaste?) > > > > 18. On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent: "Remove clothing > > before > > distributing in washing machine." (Hey no more > > swimming in the > > washing machine kids....Aww you mean we have to use the > > swimming pool?) > > >> > > > > > >"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the > >end."-Rv 22:13 > >
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