> >   In a message dated 4/19/00 9:43:07 PM Eastern Daylight Time, BLinKBAbeXOx 
> >   writes: 
> > 
> >   << In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through 
> >               stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on 
> >    consumer goods. 
> > 
> >               1. On Sears hairdryer:  "Do not use while sleeping". (Gee, 
> >    that's the only 
> >               time I have to work on my hair) 
> > 
> >               2. On a bag of Fritos:  "You could be winner!  No purchase 
> >    necessary. 
> >               Details inside".  (Evidently, the shoplifter special) 
> > 
> >               3. On a bar of Dial soap:  "Directions:  Use like regular 
> >    soap." (And that 
> >               would be how. . . ?) 
> > 
> >               4. On some Swanson frozen dinners:  "Serving suggestions: 
> >    Defrost."  (But 
> >               it's *just* a suggestion)>>>> >>>>>> >> 
> > 
> >               5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box): 
> >    "Do not turn 
> >               upside down".    (Oops, too late!) 
> > 
> >               6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:  "Product will be hot 
> >    after heating". 
> >               (As night follows the day . . . .) 
> > 
> >               7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:  "Do not iron clothes on 
> >    body".     (But 
> >               wouldn't this save even more time?) 
> > 
> >               8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:  "Do not drive a car 
> >    or operate 
> >               machinery after taking this medication". (We could do a lot 
> >    to reduce the 
> >               rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 
> >    5-year-olds with 
> >               head-colds off those forklifts.) 
> > 
> >               9. On Nytol Sleep Aid:  "Warning:  May cause drowsiness". 
> >    (One would hope) 
> > 
> >               10. On most brands of Christmas lights:  "For indoor or 
> >    outdoor use only". 
> >               (As opposed to what?) 
> > 
> >               11. On a Japanese food processor:  "Not to be used for the 
> >    other use".  (I 
> >               gotta admit, I'm curious). 
> > 
> >               12. On Sainsbury's peanuts:  "Warning:  Contains nuts". 
> >    (NEWS FLASH) 
> > 
> >               13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts:  "Instructions: 
> >    Open packet, eat 
> >               nuts."  (Step 3:  Fly Delta). 
> > 
> >               14. On a child's Superman costume:  Wearing of this garment 
> >    does not enable 
> >               you to fly".   (I don't blame the company  I blame parents 
> >    for this one). 
> > 
> >               15. On a Swedish chain saw:  "Do not attempt to stop chain 
> >    with your hands 
> >               or genitals".  (Was there a chance of this happening 
> >    somewhere?...Good grief) 
> > 
> >               16. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid: "Do not use 
> >    on food." 
> >               (Hey mom we're out of syryp! ; It's ok honey just grab the 
> >    Palmolive!)>>>> 
> > 
> >              17. On a tube of Crest Toothpaste: "If swallowed contact 
> >    poison control." 
> >               (Oh please have you ever heard about someone dying from 
> >    swallowing a little 
> >                   toothpaste?) 
> > 
> >               18. On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent: "Remove clothing 
> >    before 
> >               distributing in       washing machine."   (Hey no more 
> >    swimming in the 
> >               washing machine kids....Aww you mean we have  to use the 
> >    swimming pool?) 
> >     >> 
> > 
> > 
> >"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the 
> >end."-Rv 22:13 
> > 

© 1997 starpeppy@hotmail.com


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