Warning: The Badtimes virus... 



If you receive an e-mail with a subject of "Badtimes," 

delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most 

dangerous Email virus yet. It will re-write your hard drive. 

Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even 

close to your computer. It will recalibrate your 

refrigerator's coolness setting so all your ice cream goes 

melty. It will demagnetize the strips on all your credit 

cards, mess up the tracking on your VCR and use subspace 

field harmonics to scratch any CD's you try to play. It will 

give your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend your new phone number. It 

will mix Kool-aid into your fishtank. It will drink all your 

Pepsi and leave its socks out on the coffee table when 

there's company coming over. It will put a dead kitten in 

the back pocket of your good suit pants and hide your car 

keys when you are late for work. 



Badtimes will make you fall in love with a penguin. It will 

give you nightmares about circus midgets. It will pour sugar 

in your gas tank and shave off both your eyebrows while 

dating your current boyfriend/girlfriend behind your back 

and billing the dinner and hotel room to your Visa card. It 

will seduce your grandmother. It does not matter if she is 

dead, such is the power of Badtimes, it reaches out beyond 

the grave to sully those things we hold most dear. It moves 

your car randomly around parking lots so you can't find it. 

It will kick your dog. It will leave libidinous messages on 

your boss's voice mail in your voice! It is insidious and 

subtle. It is dangerous and terrifying to behold. It is also 

a rather interesting shade of mauve. 



Badtimes will give you Dutch Elm disease. It will leave the 

toilet seat up. It will make a batch of Methamphetamine in 

your bathtub and then leave bacon cooking on the stove while 

it goes out to chase gradeschoolers with your new 

snowblower. These are just a few signs... be very careful! 



THIS IS A JOKE for those of you who will wonder. 

© 1997 starpeppy@hotmail.com


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