January 15, 1999

Closer to the end of the nineteenth century, one so unlike our own in many aspects, Cherie was in love. Well, like. Standing on the step stool in her kitchen before dawn she radiated nervous excitement. Her mother told her to stand still while she put some more wood in the stove.

Just two days till the wedding and the dress still wasn’t finished. Claire’s hands were ice cold and couldn’t grasp the tiny needle as she crouched beside her daughter sewing in the wavering light given off by the stove. Claire was not as excited about this wedding as most mothers would be.

Cherie, named for her naturally cherry red cheeks, was set to marry Lawson Forbes. Lawson lived about ten miles from the Lyman’s warm little cabin on one of the most prosperous farms in Ontario. This cabin was the only home Cherie had ever known however, and Claire had never lived here without Cherie before. With Mr. Lyman out on the fields all day it promised to rapidly become a solitary life for Claire. She did her duty as a mother though, helped with plans, wrote out invitations, and designed and sewed the wedding dress.

Cherie hadn’t known Lawson very long. He had come from abroad only two years ago. At the time Cherie was teaching Sunday school, that being the only time she was in town. She knew only bits and pieces about the Forbes’ trip to Canada, and knew nothing of the man himself. Lawson’s father, Douglas, and Cherie’s Father, Louis, began doing business together 6 months after the Forbes’ arrival. It had not yet occurred to Cherie that this was the reason for the wedding. Her mother on the other hand had a good idea of it. Louis bid her not to say a word. Of course Lawson knew of the whole deal and had no intention of taking Cherie as a wife in anything other than name.

That’s not to say that Cherie was an undesirable girl. Some called her ‘robust’ standing at an Amazonian 5’10” and having some curves. She had many admirers and never had to sit out a dance when she was in town. She was lucky enough to have male friends, as well as female friends, so she didn’t get stung with a reputation as many other young ladies in town did. Possibly her ability to wield an axe for firewood helped quash any murmurings.

Weekdays she stayed at the cabin with her parents, usually helping in their small home or barn, but was also known to occasionally don a pair of her father’s overalls and rubbers and head out for the fields. Weekends she stayed in town at the girls’ dormitory at the college with a friend who had a spare bed. This was quite a luxury that most girls never dared dream of. Seeing as her father drove to town Saturday mornings for market and returned Sunday afternoon he didn’t see any reason why Cherie couldn’t go along and get a taste of the world beyond the farm and enrich her life by teaching the town children of the ‘Wonders of God.’

Cherie had also done something else no other girl she knew had ever done. She had been secretly engaged to a boy named Charles who lived just across the college campus. Charles was studying to be a bookkeeper. Most girls found him a bore, but he was extremely fun to spend time with and treated Cherie like a queen. Charles and Cherie had met at a dance and spent most of the following weekends together. They would part each Saturday night outside of the girls’ dormitory with a lingering kiss and a sigh as they released hands to go their separate ways for the weekend. One night Charles left something in Cherie’s hand. When she looked down she saw the sparkle as the small stone in the ring caught the moonlight. That night as Charles placed the ring on Cherie’s finger she betrothed her heart to him forever. She wore the ring concealed on a chain around her neck and vowed to keep Charles foremost in her thoughts always.

When Lawson started coming around Cherie took very little notice of him in his dapper English suits and his styled hair. Charles was more her type, cap and short pants, vest and chemise, for that was the environment she was raised in--casual. She knew her parents would be happy with Charles and was almost ready to tell them of the proposal until Lawson started showing up for dinner regularly and laughing heartily at her father’s unfunny jokes.

She started to feel downright uncomfortable with Lawson’s attentions to her whilst at the same time being crushed with guilt at keeping Charles a secret. Charles was getting restless and felt as if she must think him unworthy of meeting her family. Meanwhile everyone in town seemed to know what was happening—that Douglas and Louis had agreed to combine their farm operations, lands, help, and titles to outdo any competition. Of course to solidify this undertaking, and ensure neither party soured on the deal, a marriage between children was to take place. For then if anything went foul too much would be lost. The marriage was to be the incentive to keep everything above board.

Charles caught wind of this situation and fled, heartbroken. Cherie knew not of any reason why he would leave and spent the many dark months of winter pining for him. During the daylight hours she would toy with her necklace and wonder what went wrong. In the evenings she would put on a happy face and entertain the Forbes men. She learned that Mrs. Forbes had passed some time ago, before thoughts of Canada had even crossed Douglas’ mind. Then with Lillian gone it seemed only appropriate that Douglas and his son would move abroad to escape their grief and chance a new future.

Lawson had been 16 then and was now nearly 20. When Cherie had heard the sad story of Lillian’s death she could not help but feel compassion for the strong young man. That’s where it began. Soon she began baking cookies and taking the cutter in winter or the buggy in summer to the Forbes’ farm to see Lawson. Louis could not have been happier. Cherie stopped spending weekends in town and started spending Saturday afternoon to late evening at the Forbes’ home doing needlework on the porch or helping with meals. When Lawson had a spare moment they would sit in the same room and read or play chess together. Lawson, with his striking good looks, was never expected to go out in the field.

Now it was only two days away from the ‘blessed’ event. The sun was up and the little kitchen was getting quite warm, even for an early fall morning. Claire and Cherie moved closer to the East kitchen window and worked on the dress until about eleven when hunger seized both of them. Claire started some bacon and buttered some bread while Cherie went and carefully took off her dress.

Seeing as it was an autumn wedding the dress was of crimson velvet. It reminded Cherie of raspberry jam heating in the giant pots she and her mother had worked over for many summers. 19 years old and here she was, ready to be wed to Lawson Forbes of all men. He was handsome and smart and she liked him immensely. She was sure that she’d grow to love him in time. She had been assured that her wifely duties in the brand new home, which Douglas had built for them on Forbes’ land, would bring her the sense of completion she had been longing for forever. She had never once questioned that her entire life she had been conditioned to do this--find a respectable husband, get married, tend house, and raise children--and that until all of those requirements were satisfied she’d feel incomplete.

September 25th dawned bright and the early morning frost soon melted away. At 6am Cherie and Claire got up and quietly began preparing while Louis slept in for the first time in his life; letting Lee, his best stable man, take over the morning chores. He wanted to be well rested for when he walked his only daughter down the aisle and sealed the best business deal he had ever made.

Cherie let down her pin curls and Claire set to work on her hair. Cherie didn’t need any makeup as her usually red cheeks glowed with anticipation. It was to be a small ceremony out on the Lyman property, on the foundation of Cherie’s grandfather’s barn. The barn had burned down years before Cherie was born. As a girl she had loved to wander out to the foundation and pick flowers. Nowhere but this site, where she had dreamed so many times about her wedding day, would do for the actual event.

At five minutes to eleven Cherie slipped into her wedding dress and at 25 minutes past eleven she was heading across the field with her mother, father driving, in the carriage to the old foundation. She could see the Forbes men looming in the distance and a few of her relatives waving cheerfully opposite the Forbes.

The carriage came to a halt and her father helped her down. Claire took her place near the front of the group as Louis and Cherie walked up the makeshift aisle between various relatives towards the preacher.

The sun shone on Lawson’s slick hair making him look a little more devious than she had ever seen him. It gave her a shiver to know that he might look that way tonight as she finally gave herself up to her fate as a dutiful wife. Oddly enough Lawson reached out for her hand. This was the first time they had ever touched purposely. She might have accidentally brushed his hand during a lively game of chess, but they had never held hands, let alone kissed. This was to be a day of firsts.

The preacher began and Cherie started to feel prickles of sweat gathering in her palms and armpits. Why should this ceremony unnerve her so, she had prepared for this moment her whole life. For some reason though, she had little more feeling about marrying this man than about the daily chore of milking the cows. At last it came to her, the thought that had been looming in the corners of her mind. She did not love this man. She felt nothing for him holding his hand now other than a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Looking into his dark eyes all she could think of was how dapper Charles would have looked all suited up for this one monumental moment in his life. She started to feel resentful as she stole glances at Douglas and Louis smiling at one another. Suddenly it all fell into place.

Cherie let go of Lawson’s hand with force, throwing it from her in disgust. Some gasps went up from the gathered onlookers. Cherie turned to face the guests and strode away as they parted soundlessly before her. No explanation was needed. They could see by the fire in her eyes and the suspicious absence of colour in her cheeks that she had guessed her father’s intentions. All who watched let her walk away on her own with her head held high. They had always known there was something different about this girl, something strange even, for she had a mind of her own, something not always so common in the young women of that day.

In many aspects that century was the very same as the one in which we reside today. The heart remains the same complicated, sensitive instrument it has always been, no matter how far we think we can get from ourselves. Certain things will always be expected of us that we will desire to break free from. Joy and the pain that knowledge can bring will always walk hand in hand till the end of time.