jokes :: you know you're a true san francisco resident if...

Your co-worker confides that he has eight body-piercings, though he doesn't specify exactly where ...and none of them are visible.
When someone says "Tenderloin," you don't think "pepper steak," you think "pepper-spray."
You make well over $100,000 and still can't find a nice place to live.
You think anyone who doesn't drive a recumbent bicycle or electric car to work is decadent.
You keep a "companies to boycott" list on your refrigerator.
You would never dream of crossing a picket line.
One afternoon you take the bus and are shocked to overhear two people carrying on a conversation entirely in English.
You realize there are far more Rainbow flags in the city than the California State flag.
Your hairstylist is a straight biker dude, and your plumber is a beautiful lesbian.
The gal who delivers the mail is straight, and your Mary Kay Lady is a male transvestite.
Old friends you haven't talked to in years suddenly call and ask: "Do you have a spare bedroom for a weekend?"
You think anyone wearing a George Clooney haircut is visiting from the Midwest.
You can't remember ... is pot still illegal?
You go to your office manager's baby shower. The parents are named Judy and Becky.
You give a "thumbs up" gesture to a car with a FREE TIBET bumper sticker -- and you mean it.
You have a "No War on Iraq" bumper sticker on your bike.
You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and are willing to fight over it.
A really great parking spot can momentarily move you to tears.
You know that anyone wearing shorts in June is just visiting from Ohio.
A man walks onto your MUNI streetcar in full leather with silver-stud regalia and crotchless chaps. You don't even notice.
You know the N in N-Judah stands for "Never"
You curse those "damn tourists" - but always stop to help a cute blonde puzzling over a city map.
When you drive under a freeway underpass, the words "earthquake" and "concrete" drift briefly through your conscious mind.
Your company's CEO runs in a "centipede" for the Bay-to-Breakers marathon ... it's the first time you've seen her in the nude.
Your child's third grade teacher has a nose-ring and is named "Breeze."
You haven't been to Fisherman's Wharf since the first month you moved to the Bay Area.
You're thinking of taking an adult education class, but you can't decide between "Yoga," "Cuban Rhumba Drumming" or "Building Your Web Site."
Your new neighbors "go to temple" on a regular basis, but you're still not sure if they're Jewish, Buddhist or Jain.
You suddenly realize that the only Republicans you actually know personally are your Aunt Sassy and Uncle Rip back in Georgia.