2. Winders 95 logo would incorporate a Confederate Flag.

3. Microsoft Word would be just that: one word.

4. New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!"

5. Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz".

6. Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.

7. Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse.

8. Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver

9. "Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire..."

10. Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard.

11. "Flight Simulator" replaced by "Tractor Pull Simulator".

12. Instead of an hour glass icon, you'd get an empty beer bottle.

13. Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates

14. PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"

15. Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK servers.

16. Redman plug'n'play interface.

17. They could still use Ky-row as code name for next upgrade, but Albenny would be the one after that.

18. Screen saver would be a kudzu vine which would consume your program manager.

19. Instructions for use would include "mash the control key."

20. The "Start" button replaced with "Shoot!".

21. Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag.

22. Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh - Right" or "Naw".

23. Instead of "Ta - Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos.

24. The Recycle Bin in Winders '95 would be an outhouse.

25. Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Free Bird!"

26. Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be "Achy-Breaky Heart".

27. Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++".